Black Lace Shoes
Hmmm, how do I feel about today...
The first half of the day was nothing out of the ordinary spectacular - but it was good. I slept in a little before driving my son to work - that was nice. Did a few loads of laundry, washed dishes, did some strength training, worked out on the universal weight lifting machine in the basement, took my daughter to the mall so she could spend her money on more Gir items - and then we headed to the dojo.
Tonight, I was able to sit on the bench as mom and just watch my daughter - which was really nice, I usually do not get that opportunity anymore with how busy things are there. I miss just being able to watch her and focus all of my attention on her.
But while I was sitting there I received some sad news. A friend's mother passed away suddenly today. I feel like I am in an awkward position though. See about two years when I started training - the two women who I had become friends with over the years, didn't really understand how important it was to me - how much it was changing my life for the better. Slowly we began to go our separate ways. Now we are at the point that we don't really even speak. My other friend's mom passed away a few years ago - and I was there with her for everything - but I also knew her mom. At this point in my friendship with them I feel like the outcast - I know I have already been replaced. So I am struggling with the fact that I don't just want to jump in to help like I did with my other friend - when I haven't spoken to this friend in almost 2 years - but I also don't want to be that person that wasn't there for her. I don't know. That's the part of my day that isn't going well.
After hearing the news - it was almost time for my class. I was able to catch up with my friend and giggle a little - but then I was able to train with her. She helped me a lot tonight - pointing out different things that I need to pay more attention to and fix - otherwise I am setting myself to get my ass kicked. I don't want to get my ass kicked. Love working with her - she is a great teacher.
And then a little more sadness came when leaving the dojo - cause another day has been crossed off the calendar of seeing our instructor there before he leaves for his own school. 6 days left - that we will be at the school with him. My daughter was asking questions about all of it while driving home. It's starting to hit her that the time is ticking away. She's going to miss him terribly.
Another emotionally roller coaster kinda day. But I guess that's what life does.
"Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us and those around us more effectively. Look for the learning."
Louisa May Alcott
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