Pay attention to the signs

Lime Green Boots

Awareness.

Being aware could be applied to numerous situations in life.  My particular awareness right now is focused on my health - not because I want to be focused on it, but more because it is slapping me in the face lately.

Tomorrow morning I will be heading to the hospital again.

I have a condition known as Gastroparesis - which in simple terms means a paralyzed stomach.  In addition to my broken stomach - I have issues with my esophagus, intestinal tract and a circulatory disease - which cause me problems on a daily basis.  Lately things seemed to be getting worse.

Part of me would like to turn my back on what is happening.  To push it off and out of my mind - that if I don't think about it maybe it will all just go away.  But I know that is not going to happen and more importantly could cause me greater issues if I do not deal with things.

In the past few weeks, my circulatory disease has gotten pretty bad.  I've started to have a blanket at work, that I sit wrapped up in all day.  My right side is a lot worse than my left.  My right arm aches most of the day because it so cold.  It's strange how I can feel the temperature difference between my left and right side.

Also in the last few weeks, I have noticed that the strength in my hands is deteriorating - especially in my right hand.  I am struggling to open jars and can't open my front door with my right hand any longer.  It's extremely frustrating.

I will spare you the details on some of the other stuff.

So tomorrow I will be receiving injections of Botox Type B into my stomach.  I am trying to remain hopefully but at the same time realistic.  Studies have shown that patients who have built an immunity against Type A do not have a very high success rate with Type B and the results were actually discouraging according to the study I read - it's only about a 30% success rate and very short-lived relief.  But I am willing to try it anyway.  It's the last non-invasive measure they can do for me - so I need to take it.

And in the meantime, I will continue to call to see if the rheumatologist can see me sooner about my other issues.  There's not much else for me to do - besides be aware and be an educated patient.

Too tired to search for a quote tonight and besides, I should get some sleep.

Oh and the significance of the lime green boots - there is an organization call G-PACT that helps patients with gastroparesis and other gastro-paralysis disorders.  Lime green is their color and they are getting ready to start their Awareness Week.