Monday, June 27

I'm ready for my bruises, please

Black and Blue Rose Pumps


Black and Blue.

There was a time when counting my bruises after a night of grappling (and sometimes kickboxing) that I would giggle and proceed to name each bruise after the person who had given them to me.  It wasn't as if I had received them because someone was after me and looking to cause me serious harm - it's the nature of the training and I wore them with pride.

It's been a long time since I've been able to count up my battle wounds.  I'm getting ready to go on three months since I was last able to train. It's not physically possible for me to train right now when I can't properly fuel my body each day.

I miss training.  I miss being able to punch and kick the heavy bags - getting my heart pumping and the sweat dripping down my face.  I miss being able to grapple in the corner with my fellow ninja - rolling and learning and having fun.  And yes, I miss kickboxing - I had finally come to enjoy kickboxing a year ago and then I got sick.  I miss doing the strength training and doing plyos.  I miss beating my body up to the point of sheer exhaustion after a great workout and then going home and lying awake because my adrenaline is still pumping through my veins.

I am hoping during tomorrow's appointment that a plan will be unveiled that will not only include getting me back to being able to eat and out of pain - but that will also help me get back to my training.  First priority is my health, but I can hear my gear calling for me.

I am also getting black and blue emotionally and need to find a way to ease that part of my mind as well - another reason why I need to get back to my training, it had become my therapy and I am way overdue for a counseling session.


"Martial art is a form of expression, an expression from your inner self to your hands and legs"
Donnie Yen

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