Unstable

Snakeskin Swervy Heels

I never would have imagined when I woke up this morning that my day would have gone the way that it did.  But then again, how many of us truly know how our day is going to pan out when we wake up?

The events of today have had me thinking about a lot of things.

If I were to become a widow, how would I survive?

How would our childrens' lives be altered?

If someone I love was diagnosed with a serious illness, how would I help them through it?

There are always the natural human questions of - Why?  How?  I think if we didn't ask these questions in times of concern and worry - that it would signal there was a part of us at least that was not facing the matter at hand and instead was trying to brush it under the carpet.  I also think there is a difference between being educated on the issue at hand and then over-obsessing about it to the point of worrying oneself sick.

Two very important people in my life were given information today that I am sure they weren't expecting to hear this morning when they woke up.  Information which has left them somewhat mentally unstable thinking of all of the What Ifs.  Both of these people are what I would consider young - people who should have many years ahead of them.

One I think was scared into taking better care of themselves - or at least I hope they were.  But based upon the day's events - I am expecting they will be paying a little bit closer attention to their health.

The other, I know and can sense is worried - and rightfully so.  I am sure there are also many questions of Why?  I know I have asked several Why's myself today and can't begin to imagine what is going through their mind right now.

Inevitably there is then that question - what would my loved ones do if something happened to me?  How would my children be affected?

I am hoping that all of these questions do not have to be answered for some time.  I am hoping that both of my loved ones are told - your tests are normal, making some minor adjustments to your lifestyle and you should live a long healthy life.  I am hoping that one of them hears, the initial report findings were inaccurate - everything is ok.  Or, it was a misdiagnosis - what was discovered is actually something else which is much less severe and not life threatening.

I am praying for answered prayers.  And while I know that my prayers may not answered in the manner in which I want them to be - I have to continually tell myself what my Grandmother used to tell me all of the time - "Put it in his hands".  She always found so much peace when she would make that statement - no matter the situation.  Tonight, I take a deep breath and I will try to put it in his hands.

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how"

Friedrich Nietzsche