A heavy heart...

Black Lace Heels

Having a loved one pass away can be devastating.

I have lost several people in my life whom I loved dearly.  My cousin Doug, my Grandmother, my cousin Stephen, our friend Victor.  I love and miss them all terribly - thinking of them often and carrying a butterfly upon my back in memory of them.  I have been fortunate at this point in my life to not have had to experience the loss of a parent, a sibling or a child.

The loss of a child has to cause unimaginable pain and grief.

My cousin Doug was 16 when he passed away, I was 9 at the time.  I remember witnessing the grief my Aunt experienced.  The times when she would be calling upstairs to him - forgetting that he was not there.  The times that she would call her youngest son by Doug's name.  It was heart wrenching.

My cousin Stephen was 20 when he passed away.  His mother is the sister to my cousin Doug.  She is now living the same grief which her mother felt over 20 years ago when Doug passed away.  My Aunt, having now experienced the pain of not only losing her own son - but her grandson as well.

My friend Victor was 20 when he passed away.  Again, watching the pain in his parents faces as they were faced with the reality that their child was gone.

Not that it is ever easy to bury someone you love so dearly, but to bury your child is just tragic.  Our children are supposed to grow old like we have.  Our children are supposed to experience being an adult like we have.  Our children are supposed to have the time to fulfill their dreams.  I have met many people over the years who have lost a child - a pain which I hope and pray I never experience.

This evening I received news that a man I respect and care for has lost his son.

I am at a loss for words.

Cannot imagine his pain.

Cannot imagine his family's pain.

It saddens me that we have not had the opportunity to see one another recently - and that this will be the first time in a while.

But I will be there.  Be there to hug my friend.  Be there to tell my friend how terribly sorry I am for his loss.  Be there to pay my respects.

"There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.  Things never get back to the way they were"

Dwight David Eisenhower